In my latest podcast, #12 in this series, we continue the conversation regarding building good character for our children.   Much of what formulates a child’s social behavior comes from what we model for them intentionally, but some influences also happen from our unintentional behavior, so we do have to be careful with how we behave as parents and teachers in the unplanned or even stressful moments of our lives.   We also need to speak with children honestly and even show our own vulnerability.

We discuss that one way to help build positive character is through quality friendships.   Good friends aren’t bullies.   Good friends are flexible and compromise.  Good friends know how to share properly.   Adults can not only notice these qualities in their children but point them out and discuss them openly with children, and that positive reinforcement builds good character.  My books called SORRY and LYING and several more show examples of how to have these discussions and how to base the conversation in truth and in love.

We also want our children to be intelligent, but we want them to use their intelligence for goodness and to be positive members of society.  We also don’t want to assume that children know things.. they often don’t, so don’t take anything for granted.  As adults we need to mark and note things to children, and point out positive behavior.

The paperbacks and e-books in my series of socio-emotional picture books are all here on this website under the books tab, and they were all created to help busy parents have the tools and the language to support social and emotional learning at home or in schools… it’s my way of continuing to be of service in the field of education.

In my latest podcast episode, the 10^th in my series, I turn the conversation to the important topic of GOOD SPORTSMANSHIP in the ongoing education and raising of our children.  In my educational experience, there have been a number of behavioral qualities that, if socialized appropriately, can contribute a great deal to the development of a child’s character.   Often, the lessons that are learned at a young age and the character and qualities that children develop early will carry with them throughout their entire lives.  When good sportsmanship is part of a child’s behavior, good things will come out of that, and when good sportsmanship is not present, the personality that is being shaped can be more troubling.

I tell the story about one family who were very sports oriented.  The children in that family were quite skilled at sports and they all eventually earned scholarship as a result of their skills.   This family, however, promoted competitive athletics, but they never leaned heavily on the competitive aspect of the games.   It was always more important to them to just be your best self while participating in sports rather than having an emphasis on winning, and these children matured into nice, quality adults.

I also share another story about a child in my classroom who was not a good sport.  He would simply quit in the middle of a game of cards if he wasn’t winning, leaving the other children in the game hanging.  We had to make an agreement in my class and with this child who was a bad sport that if he left the game in the middle again, he could not play again.  He agreed, but when presented with the opportunity to live up to his agreement, he didn’t even want to do that.  Things escalated to an exchange with the boy’s parents, and I stood up for my principles because for one thing, my classroom had rules.  The fact remains, however, that a child who is allowed to break agreements in that manner won’t respect agreements and social norms later in life.

One of my children’s paperbacks for social and emotional learning includes a story called GOOD SPORTSMANSHIP.   It’s actually one of my favorite stories in my book series because it’s an important bit of nonfiction to which children should be exposed.  The paperbacks and e-books in my series of socio-emotional picture books are all here on this website under the books tab, and they were all created to help busy parents have the tools and the language to support social and emotional learning at home or in schools… it’s my way of continuing to be of service in the field of education.

In this latest podcast episode, I continue the conversation started in my previous podcast about STRATEGIES. Strategies are the tools that children and parents alike can use as tools to help tackle any task, and of course when I discuss strategies, they are educational strategies.

One tool that adults can use when working with children is SCAFFOLDING.   Scaffolding is when the parent or educator shares the task with the child.  For example, the first children’s book that I wrote was the one called “Good Manners,” and that book was born out of a real conversation with Olivia, my granddaughter.   She asked me why we needed to have good manners.   Instead of giving her the answers directly, and instead of giving her an answer like “because I said so” or “because it’s nice,” I involved her in the answer.  I told her a story about what happened when my paralyzed son, Joshua, was young.    At that time, I told Joshua that given his situation, in his lifetime he would often be aided by others, and those who assist you will do it more happily if you acknowledge and thank them for helping.   Then I asked Olivia how she feels when people say please and thank you to her, and she said that it makes her feel good.   We “scaffolded” the learning about good manners by involving her in the process and the discussion, and that is often a very effective tool for teaching.

We also talked about parents and being overburdened right now due to disruptions in education, and I shared a story about my own frontloading as a parent.   As a busy working mom, I was so conscious of time management that I often had my kids sleep in the clothes that they were going to wear during the coming day.  That way the box was already checked the night before regarding getting dressed for the day.   As a habitual front-loader, I understand the stresses of busy parents and I had a number of my own strategies to getting through each day.

The paperbacks and e-books in my series of socio-emotional picture books were all created to help busy parents have the tools and the language to support social and emotional learning at home or in schools… it’s my way of continuing to be of service in the field of education.

In this episode, I start by answering a question that was a follow-up from an earlier podcast.   A listener wanted to know what I meant by “socializing a child’s behavior,” and I spend a moment in this podcast going through a detailed explantation of what that means and I use specific examples.    Essentially, socializing a child’s behavior is done by modeling.    If you, as a parent, find yourself not behaving in a manner in front of your child or children that you feel is inappropriate, it is best to point out that behavior and discuss it.   Because children relate to an honest appraisal of what is happening around them, an open discussion about emotional actions and reactions are the best teaching tools in order to steer a child’s behavior in the best possible direction.

For the remainder of this podcast, we dive into on of the “Feelings” books in my series of books dealing with soci0-emotional learning.     I read aloud the book titled SHAME, and we discuss the important message contained in the story.    Shame discusses the feeling of embarrassment that a child might feel when making a mistake.    This book, however, takes a different approach to mistakes and treats them not as negatives but as learning lessons.   In my classroom, erasers were not permitted, and that’s because erasing a mistake erases the opportunity to learn from one’s error.   We talk about the “mis-take” from the point of view of filmmaking when an actor might deliver their lines in Take 1, Take 2, Take 3 and so forth.   With each “take,” there is an invitation to improve upon the last “take” and therefore a “mis-take” is simply a chance to get better.

All of my books, the multi-chapter paperbacks or the single chapter e-books, are all about helping over-burdened parents to have the tools and the language to share in a child’s social and emotional development.   All of the books are linked to Amazon right here on this website under BOOKS.

In this episode of my podcast, we open with a brief discussion about Social and Emotional Learning (SEL) and its importance.   We discuss the role of SEL and we also enumerate that there are three basic components of concern regarding SEL…

• that children actually HAVE feelings and know how to EXPRESS them safely and appropriately
• that children have the opportunity for appropriate social interactions which is exceedingly difficult with disrupted education, and
• that children are encouraged and enabled to grow and flourish in the area of social and emotional skills

We then discuss the notion of parents as teachers and I touch on my own sincere desire to unburden parents from certain teaching responsibilities.    Parents are indeed the first and primary teachers for their children, but she also postulates that there are sometimes emotional issues that can cloud a parent’s view of their own children’s education.   Given that scenario, remote or hybrid/remote learning is clearly an added burden on parents.   Then the question becomes, where does socio-emotional learning fit into the daily schedule in the household?   That’s where the recent series of Dr. Shaw books comes in.    The variety of topics in my books with titles like Jealousy, Confident,Stubborn, Optimism, Shame, Generous and Anger all give parents the tools and the language in short, children’s picture books to present and discuss these feelings and many more.

And speaking of Anger, pre-school teacher Christina DeGrote re-joins me for a reading of my “Feelings Book” called Anger.   Ms. DeGrote reads the full book introduction which summarizes my own personal history and philosophy.   She then reads the book which not only portrays Anger as a normal and acceptable feeling to feel, but the story also presents strategies for safely diffusing one’s anger in a relatable way to children.   Ms. DeGrote then discusses her own classroom experience of managing behavioral issues with some of her young pupils.

The podcast concludes with a recap and reminder that parents have a lot of challenges right now and that my intention and my learning materials are all geared toward one thing… to help.