For podcast #44, I continued to take a break from my recent series of discussions about the Q&A section of my parenting book. If you’re new to my series, allow me to fill you about that book which is titled I LIKE HOW YOU SPEAK TO ME… A PARENT’S GUIDE FOR EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION WITH CHILDREN. The book is a real “how to” for effective communication between adults and children. The book begins with my 10 Governing Principles for effective communication with children, and those simple and direct guidelines, when practiced regularly, will truly make a world of difference in how your message gets across to your child and how your bond can be solidified for life. The book also includes a short children’s picture book that demonstrates a model of how to communicate and why, and then the book concludes with a Q&A section where we answer the most frequently asked questions from parents. Not coincidentally, the answers to those questions are formed by practical application of the ten governing principles that open the book. We have been reviewing the Q&A on my podcast, one question and answer at a time, but I’ve digressed from that topic for several weeks in a row now, including on this podcast
This time around, I wanted to take the time to address a question that came up while meeting with a young parent recently and the question was… how do we as parents, or caretakers, not put our “stuff” on our children. In other words, if I have a short fuse, how do I create an environment for my child where that isn’t exemplified? If I have a fear of swimming, how do I promote a healthy space for my child to not be intimidated by the challenges of learning to swim and in fact to learn to thrive in that environment? Do I turn to an alternate caretaker to take my place in those situations? How do I not allow my nervousness to impact the child? These are just examples, but the question really is… HOW DO I NOT ALLOW MY LIMITATIONS TO LIMIT MY CHILD?
Step one is to recognize the limitation. An adult can point out their own thoughts and feelings about nervousness or risk… owning it is so important. Then, recognition of the child’s strength is also very important. If they aren’t nervous, tell them how great that is. Parents and educators who are thoughtful and respectful and don’t do anything around children to make the child feel less free are doing the right thing. Enjoy what they do well and reinforce the gifts that accomplishments by your child really are.
More than likely, I will get back into the conversation that we’ve been having about the content of my recently published parenting guide on the next podcast, and that will be focused on the 10th question in the Q&A section of my book about effective communication with children, so please stay tuned for that. In the meantime, thanks for visiting and for listening.
You can hear Podcast 44 here:
And you can find the parenting guide on Amazon right here: